Nothing can be as troubling for a man than the period following a breakup. The emotional turbulence is particularly crushing, crippling the ambitions and fire of a man’s soul.
Reduced to images of the past, he cannot move on.
Imagining the ongoings of his lover, he is paralyzed with jealous anger.
IN ORDER TO FREE YOURSELF FROM THIS LITERAL HELL, EMBRACE THE FOLLOWING AS UNDENIABLE TRUTHS.
1) You want her because you cannot have her.
This is true because there were times in the relationship when you considered moving on yourself. Men are in love with what they cannot have and if they could have them, they lose interest. When she is available to you, those imperfections rise to the top. Think about the times when you were not satisfied and the times when you were not interested.
DO THIS: From now on, when you think about her, focus on the things that would have caused you to end the relationship yourself (which you never got around to because you were preoccupied with the sex because the sex always keeps us complacent and motionless).
2) There are millions of better options.
There is something like 3 billion women in the world- which means an endless amount of available girls, all single, all hungry to meet you. These girls are prettier, sexier, smarter and younger than the one that is currently on your mind. Anything you can imagine, there are more of it out in the world.
This is why married, middle-aged men are almost always in a state of regret- they are afloat the endless sea without a fishing pole in sight.
To be obsessed with just one of these girls is a biological defect. It is nature’s way of ensuring we don’t abandon a defenseless matriarch. We are programmed to be protectors and sometimes that inclination can work against us.
Always remember that you are overly sensitive to all of her “amazing” qualities. It is all made up, a figment of your imagination. She most likely molded herself to appeal to you in some way. She was never going to be the perfect partner that you are imagining, a better woman can and will be found.
3) Once you start meeting and talking with other girls, you will forget all about this one.
Think back to high school (or middle school or whenever) and remember how crazy you felt about that one girl. How do you feel about her now? Nothing. Emptiness. She is no longer hot, sexy, and young. She no longer means anything to you.
DO THIS: Feel the sting, but remember that it is guaranteed to pass. In due time, she will just be some girl that you dated for a period of time. Fill your subconscious with this idea, let it sink in.
4) Embrace the fact that the relationship ended when it did.
It could be worse. You could be older, married, with kids, and going through the exact same situation. Since it happened now, it would have happened eventually.
There is no sadder sight than a man robbed of his passion for life because of a failed marriage, unhappy ex-wife, and a host of ungrateful kids. Trust me, it worked out in your favor.
5) You learned something from this experience.
In all things in life, you either win or you learn.
Read More: Win or Learn by John Kavanagh (amazon)
For the time being, you learned. Maybe you abandoned your path to mastery by showering her with time and attention. Maybe you bought her too many gifts and acted like she was “the one,” which is what girls make you think they want but in reality, they can find it less appealing.
A woman must look up to you to some degree. She must admire you and that admiration fuels her passion and feelings for you.
Maintain a degree of mystery and you maintain a degree of power. She craves that feeling and excitement but will never admit it to you.
6) Some women are hopeless.
There are some women who will never be satisfied. They are hopeless. Crazy for you in a moment, then lost to the wind the very next. There is nothing you can do in these instances except to happily move on.
She will try to re-enter your life because that is what these types of women do. Don’t let her. Don’t try to save her. Don’t try to be the knight in shining armor. It may work for the time being, but you cannot please these types of women forever.
7) Do not take advice from other women.
They will lie straight to your face. They will tell you to do this and that but then they will go home to a boyfriend that treats them like shit and chokes them in bed. They will tell you how to be a great friend, they will tell you how to be a loser, to buy her gifts and to be sweet. It’s a fool’s gold, to listen to women on how to meet other women.
8) You will be sad and lonely for a while.
Accept it. You’re a human being filled with thousands of chemical reactions called emotions. Let it sting, use it to become more powerful. Use the drive of this emotional energy to transform yourself. It can be a very powerful force if you can direct it into positive outlets.
HOW TO MOVE ON
1) Become Powerful.
Focus your energy on becoming powerful. Learn new skills. Take seminars and transform yourself into your best version. There is no better revenge than success. Practically every girl that has broken up with me is nowhere as successful as I am.
Use the emotional energy and drive to build yourself into an icon.
2) Transform your physique.
In a similar vein, there is no better time to hit the gym. Go at it hard. Find a solid program and lift weights. If you can, find a training partner or pay for a personal trainer. You want the gym to become a social outlet, where you interact with other people while making yourself into a Greek God.
The energy and drive will be there, channel it towards becoming the most physically dominating specimen possible.
3) Do not be sad or do sad things.
The hardest part of this step is to eliminate all contact with your Ex. Snapchat, IG, Facebook, whatever, get rid of all of it. Don’t worry, she will still be watching you and when you’re ready, you can check in to see how much better you’ve become. When you get an urge to contact her, remember to think of the things you dislike about her. Think of how much better you’re going to be.
Ditch the sad music. Stop drinking alone and wallowing in sorrow.
DO THIS: Think about your new life as a powerful broker and a physical Adonis.
4) Surround yourself with women.
Women are feminine and men love being around women. Enlist some female friends, talk to them, drink with them, humor them with your energy, but don’t ever take advice from them.
Time cures all, friend. Take control of this time and the opportunities are endless.
That’s just the way human beings work. Money is power. Power is an aphrodisiac. Money did not make me happy. But it definitely improved my sex life. – Felix Dennis in How to Get Rich